Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
And my parents said I crawled through the house
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize