I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
