I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize