i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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