Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
