I hate your face
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
