cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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