Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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