1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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