paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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