It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
