So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So vagazzling was a success
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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