Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
