LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
