real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize