I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
