I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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