peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
