Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
