yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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