I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
