my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
