Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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