Apparently you make a good broom.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize