dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You're like the curious george of whores
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
