I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
