She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
