Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize