Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
