this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
