Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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