Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
