Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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