i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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