bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
