he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
