Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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