Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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