i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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