Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize