hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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