needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
