hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
