dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
