If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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