Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
