I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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