So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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