maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
