Pappa wants mamma naked
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
