im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
