She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
