he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
