I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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