Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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