God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
