You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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