Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
