So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
